Wednesday, 1 May 2013

04.04.13 Am I in a movie?



Sara was the obvious leader of the girls in the class, they allowed her to push them around and did whatever she wanted to do. She was verbally abusive to all and knew just what to say to rub some of the others the wrong way. Kris was known as the class clown, he was disruptive and all of the teachers knew him by name. Mark hated the world and everyone in it, he felt betrayed and hurt because of his parents' divorce and had made himself into a pity party, nothing was worth his time or efforts and he wasn't even going to bother trying. Jason too was a victim of divorce however while he struggled with feelings of low self worth he still tried to push forward to the best of his abilities. These four stood out to me above the rest after interacting with the class for a few weeks. This was my first class out of University (made reference to in previous post) and they were remarkably different from any other I had ever taught. They even pushed me to the point of tears.
As I looked at the movies Freedom Writers and The Ron Clarke Story, I realized that both shows depicted scenes with which I could relate. For one the conflict which existed in my classroom was very reminiscent of that which Mrs. G experienced in hers, and while mine didn't stem from racial tensions it did come about as a result of socioeconomic differences. In addition, Shameika Wallace's character reminded me very much of Sara and like Mr. Clarke I too was able to utilize Sara's 'authority' of the greater good of the entire class. Sara loved to sing, she was ecstatic when she was chosen to be a part of the school's choir. One criteria however for being in the choir was the class teacher's recommendation and since she didn't want to be removed she started complying with rules and following procedures. As mentioned before, since she was the leader of the 'pack', with her attitude change came a transformation in the others as well.
Kris and I were able to sort through his disruptiveness, he expressed to me time and again his desire to change and begged me through tears not to tell his parents of his every infraction. Through the use of behaviour contracts he was able to settle down fairly well. He too was a natural born leader and he commanded the respect of the boys and the change in his attitude brought about a change in theirs as well.  Mark lashed out at me and would love me some days but hated me and his mother most of the others. As the year progressed his behaviour would see saw back and forth. He tested my patience and made me question myself as a person and as a teacher, I reached out to him but he didn't seem to respond favourably. One day he lashed out so much that my anger boiled to the point where it overflowed. He sent him immediately to the Vice Principal and was so livid that I picked up his bag with every intention of hauling it over the school's banister, luckily good sense prevailed and I was able to walk down the front steps, beating him to the Vice Principal's desk. She realized that was the breaking point for us both and she also realized that he needed a strong male figure in his life and as such he was moved from my class and placed in the class of the only other male in the department.  As for Jason, I realized his creativity lay in his use of art to express himself and I was able to build on those, he had seemed used to being put down and being made to feel unworthy. He expressed time and again that I was the best teacher ever and I strongly believe it's because I believed in him and made him believe in himself.
When I got the class we were to have embarked on a two year programme together. I was to take them through STD 4 and STD 5, however due to some circumstances which I put down now as fate, I was moved at the end of the STD 4 academic year. The tears on the day they found out I was no longer going to be their teacher made it clear to me that I had done something right by these children. The phone calls I received from parents who couldn't finish thanking me for what I had done and how unfair it was not only to the children but to me, this removal, made me realize I had done something right. In many ways I feel that this experience was the final nail which drove me to pursue the Masters in Education with a focus in Youth Guidance. There are many children in the educational system today who are treated unfairly and labelled as social misfits and incapable of doing right. I have interacted with so called misfits and I know once treated fairly, even the worst children display a turnaround. I wonder if my experiences will ever be made into a movie? 

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